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The Amiga Isn't Dead, It's Just Frozen

Before he died, Bill Hicks accused Denis Leary of stealing his material (apparently, Hicks was the only comedian who ever joked about smoking). Now I'm going to steal some of Leary's stuff.

The Amiga's not dead, it's just frozen, and when it thaws out it's going be pretty #@#543&*!! You know what it's like to take a cold shower? Well, multiply that 15 million times and that's how #@#543&* the Amiga is going to be.

Fortunately, Amiga fans have Bill Panagouleas, CEO of DiscreetFX, a computer video company. Bill (it's easier to call him Bill than it is to retype Panagouleas) hopes to complete a documentary about trans fat (a fatter version of "Super Size Me"?) and use the profits to buy out Amiga Inc., which owns the intellectual property behind the dead but surprisingly modern machine. Once all these things happen, Panagouleas -- I mean, Bill -- will heat up the Amiga's frozen remains and bring it back to the living.

If that works, maybe Bill can revive Walt Disney and Ted Williams, as well.

Oh, if you want an Amiga, but don't trust the 15-year-old machines for sale on eBay, just run the old software through an emulator (nothing beats DeluxePaint III for graphics, I always say!). Bill says you can get the emulator here.

Posted by Doug Barney on November 21, 2006 at 11:52 AM


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